So I was socialized to stress the idea that if I could do something to help out a friend, I should. This of course results in me sometimes feeling I should bend over backwards when it would actually inconvenience me, or share personal information that I think might be used to harm me.

My partner was traumatized at the hands of their ex, in that saying "no" to the ex's requests was often (but unpredictably) met with punishment.

We wound up improvising "The 'No' Game" in chat last September, when we were talking about selfies. They weren't used to taking selfies, so it rarely occured to them to take some. I asked if I should ask more often. "Yes," they said. "Although I may also want to practice my no." Saying "no" to me was unexpectedly hard for them.


"Hmm, would it help if I asked for something that I didn't actually want, that I know of?" I asked.

So we tried it.

Me: "Would you please drive-by paintball a rival workplace for me?"
Them: "Gods no."
Me: "Would you please plant a whoopee cushion on the chair of a colleague at your next meeting?"
Them: "No."

We worked out some unofficial rules.

The 'No' Game

Materials:

2 players:
* Asker
* Responder
One six-sided die (optional)
One timer (optional, to determine game end by time)
Scorekeeping paper (also optional, to determine game end by points)

Choose who goes first, by dice roll or other agreed-upon method.
Choose an end condition. Recommended: 10-20 minutes or less of game time, or one player reaching 20 points.

Objectives:

low-stakes practice in saying "No", increased knowledge of game partner's limits, creativity in coming up with requests, and potential hilarity.

Play

Asker: Make a request of the Responder, one which you believe the Responder will honestly answer "No" to.
Responder: Respond honestly. (Do not actually carry out the request at this time.)

If the Responder's answer is "No", or (optionally) the Responder rolls 1-5 after answering "No", the Asker gets another question.

If the Responder's answer is "Yes", or (optionally) the Responder rolls 6 after answering "No", the Asker and Responder switch roles.

Scoring:

If the Responder answers "No", they receive a point.
If the Responder answers "Yes", the Asker receives a point.
If the Responder's answer is a conditional "No", or a "Yes but only if--" type answer, they still receive the point.

End:

When the agreed-upon end condition of the game is reached (or one player is weary of the game, whichever happens first), the game ends.

This is a variant on the rules of the card game Who Would Win as played at that one Thanksgiving party.

3+ players (same 3 not necessary), comprising 2 barristers & a judge, plus witnesses.

Barristers are issued one character card each; judge reveals the event card after the character cards have been read.

Barristers take roughly 20 second turns debating why their character would prevail. Depending on the barristers, judge, and party, interrupting may be allowable. Several turns back and forth countering each other's arguments may ensue, with other players being called in as witnesses to testify why they think the character would win (or straight-up volunteering their testimony). At some point (after either a certain number of exchanges have passed, a certain time limit, if all viable arguments have been exhausted, or everyone appears to be getting sick of it) the judge calls for closing arguments; the closing arguments may stick to a stricter timing rule.

Judges may be called to witness, but must temporarily cede judge position to another player while witnessing.

The judge's decision is final, but debate may in fact continue after the judge's decision if the barristers and/or witnesses feel they still have points to make.

Play should proceed in a pattern to allow all players to oppose each other as barristers.

Play continues until the judge, or the actual police with a noise complaint, shuts the whole thing down.

Funny: Didgeridoo attack.

Fashion-scary: (via moniqueleigh) CyberGown (shopshop.com) has some of the most ... stunning ... prom dresses around. Bring your sporks & bleach. (For fashion snarkers only, though the Grammar Bitch may be ... amused ... by "hand embellishments of sequences" and "marmaid styling" skirts.) (And the "I can't wear anything under this!" style. Even they can't find a way to spin up the fact that it makes her look like an anthropomorphic The Cheat.)

Sick and scary: Batshit-crazy comes in all religions. Stay away from the Water of Life Church in Plano, TX. Disturbing.

Work:
The gang-related teasing at work continues. Homie G. Super: "What's your sign? Throw it up!"
Me: "..." *self-consciously tosses a pencil in the air*
Homie G. Super: "... Bwahaha! A ... pencil. OMG." (to K-Bone) "She be rollin' with the Pencil crew of the Crips, dawg. You gonna stand for that?"
K-Bone: *eyeroll*

Today Obso1337 Super had to crack a dictionary to prove that "gay" meant "happy".

Tomorrow (okay, today, Saturday) is a 10 hour shift.

I'd been anticipating having a quiet evening at home with my friends inside the computer. Instead, I wound up over at trystan_laryssa and dustraven's, with their old roommate (who I'm sure I used to have a nickname for) and his wife and their kids, and figment0 besides.

I brought pomegranates and butterbeer, in the cream soda and buttershots assemble-it-yourself form. We played Harry Potter Scene It, then Apples to Apples. There was great hilarity over the latter, especially after the last remaining awake kid conked out. I won "clean" with "girl scouts" (judge: dustraven) and "dirty" with "car bomb" (judge: figment0) but failed to bag "fuzzy" with "cheesecake" (the sort that's been left at the back of the refrigerator too long, and what was I supposed to play, Canada, Death Valley, or Israel?). The rest of the group voted that trystan_laryssa and I had to be separated, as we were getting too high a percentage of each other's apples.

[Poll #643557]
Is it customary to decide that the green apples that a person holds are a description of them? Our crew tonight seemed to find it customary to break out into song at pseudo-random intervals, like when someone said "dead" (we went through bits of "Dead Man's Party" and then TMBG's "Dead" the second time it came up) or when Bangkok got discussed (not much between despair and ecstasy). We did that last year too, however, not playing that game, so I think it's just the group. At some point I'd like to play the game in reverse, with green apples dealt out and red apples as the challenge. We'd run out of apples more quickly that way, but still fun for all.

Midnight was a bit of a scramble, as we were rather all in game. Champagne was poured. The guys got the TV on at 6 seconds until midnight, and I wound up clinking my cellphone against glasses (I'd been looking at the time on it). I demonstrated my Secret Weapon about hanging around with smokers when we went outside: incense. The dude gave me a light. After dustraven and trystan_laryssa had their New Year's Kiss, I snagged a little bit of a smooch from her. figment0 got a peck on the cheek. Someone was letting off fireworks, people were banging on pots and pans, and someone touched off something that went fucking BOOM in rather a scary bit of noise, such that half the people present thought it had been gunfire until physical evidence in the form of we'd seen light over the trees and intervening buildings pointed out that it had to have been a far-too-large firework going off far too low, because muzzle flash is evidently neither that bright nor that high. The kid slept through it all.

The requisite car alarms were set off. It's not a fireworks display until someone's car alarm goes off; the more car alarms the better the fireworks. Is "car alarms" an Apples to Apples card? If it's not, it should be a write-in.

After we were done outside, we went back inside and finished up the game. trystan_laryssa won; she'd wound up with the best of a number of bad rounds and reached ten first.

figment0 dropped me off home. I was staggering and weaving by that point: the energy was wearing off and the booze was wearing on. Two glasses of butterbeer and a fifth of a small glass of champagne doesn't sound like a lot, but it is if you're me, which I am; it also is on that much of not supper. Heck, it was rather a lot of not breakfast and not lunch either, because I was running out to the store to get carrots for breakfast (at 6 pm) when I called trystan_laryssa, and then I wound up chatting a little, not eating breakfast, and closing down the computer and leaving. Horror of horrors: I think I Forgot to Eat Real Food. And given that I was off visiting Guide Dog Aunt, who cooks better than I do and keeps Actual Food on hand, I may well be among the few who lost weight over the holiday season.

How do you get pomegranate out of a cat? I have pomegranate on my fingers. I sent pomegranate home with the girls. I don't think the cats got into the pomegranate. I cleared dishes out from the clean dish washer into the cupboards and then from the sink into the dirty dish washer.

I want to try out the rubber ice mold that I think will work for chocolate. Someday soon.