Today's moment of OMGWTF at work was brought to us by none other than the intrepid One-Man Bald Nudity Crusade. He somehow managed to induce malfunction in the really damn nifty ice cream vending machine, which is possibly the most reliable vending machine in the building.

This caused a hissy-fit to develop, and the security guard had to deal with it. The security guard is someone, who really ought to have been mentioned before because he's just a regular background character in the fabric of the workplace. He knows pretty much everyone by sight and gets along with pretty much everyone. (He knows who I am because I am usually getting out of the building very late at night. This causes some bogglement in him, especially when I reveal that I have actually spent upwards of ten hours at work. )

I overheard the security guard telling one of the people with an actual office about the hissy-fit. Alas, I didn't stick around for the complete story, but the beginning sounded promising.

It started as being a conspiracy on the part of the vending machine company to get people's money and not give them the goods that were paid for. Knowing the guy, it probably developed further along those lines, because the people who give refunds over the vending machine are the front office. The front office is -- surprise! -- closed after 5 in the evening, and the front office also won't be back until Monday. So this means that the welcome desk won't give him a refund, and the Shift Ops Supervisor won't give him a refund. Clearly conspiracy time.

"You might as well buy from drug dealers! At least there you get what you pay for!"

Indeed.
Indeed.

The security guard asked if we could please give him some warning on these people, so he knows what to expect.