news: LOOK AT ALL THIS COOL BLINKING SHIT!! We'll be 100% implemented and look exactly like MySpace by a year from today, on April 1, 2008!

burr86: "Thanks 4 t3h ADD!!1!!"
Eastern Users & Those Anticipating This: "Nice one. Happy April Fool's Day to you too!"
Users West of Chicago & Not Prepared Yet: "$#@*(!@#*(. ... Oh. Right. April frickin' Fool's Day."
Users Who Haven't Caught On: *freak out, rant, run around in circles screaming*
Ashamed to be Caught Out Users: *delete ranty comments after realizing what day it is*
burr86 and other helpful news denizens: *reply to ranty comments before they are deleted* "Check your calendar! ;) "
Ashamed to be Caught Out Users: "WTF. I DELETED that PDQ. How did you...?"
burr86: *hasn't turned off e-mail notifications*
Unamused Users: "Laa-aame. Wasn't LJ supposed to be cool and funny back in the day?"
Paranoid Users: "Laugh it up, but we'll see who's laughing when changes like this REALLY HAPPEN! This is a vision of dystopia here."
The NSFW-sensitive: "Big! Red! Finger! LJ-cut!! My eyes! My children's eyes! My boss's eyes!"
Vgift Addicts: "Please tell me the finger vgift is for reals, at least?"
/b/tards and other offsite buddies: *lovefest*
lj_dirtycache: *have a really scary style*
MySpace Mockers: *act like stereotypical MySpace users for the lolz*
Spammers: *spam*
Maintainers: *delete spam*
burr86's inbox: *catches fire*