In which I rediscover something about The Girl Who Owned a City, by O.T. Nelson, that failed to stick in my head from 2009, in #yuletide:


[22:42] <azurelunatic> ... oh dear god.
[22:42] <azurelunatic> I think I hate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_Who_Owned_a_City even more now.

[22:43] <strixus> and why Azz?

[22:43] <strixus> i can think of plenty of reasons why to hate that book

[22:44] <azurelunatic> Okay, so there's this really juicy post-apocalyptic story about a girl who manages to craft a well-armed civilization out of the wreckage.
[22:45] <azurelunatic> And I'm 12, very invested, and then she discovers this WONDEROUS BOOK THAT CONTAINS ALL THE LESSONS THAT SHE WILL NEED TO SOLVE HER PROBLEMS, and of course I'm very curious what it is, and then it never says and I become furious.
[22:45] <shati> i liked the girl who owned a city when i was a young girl who knew nothing of ayn rand
[22:46] <azurelunatic> I re-read it as a 20-something, and fly into a pagan-agnostic rage, because clearly it's the Bible.
[22:46] <shati> ...IT IS?
[22:46] <strixus> oh god
[22:46] <azurelunatic> AND NOW I LEARN THAT IT IS AYN RAND WHICH IS WORSE

[22:46] <shati> oh
[22:46] <shati> right
[22:46] <strixus> OH FUCK NO
[22:46] * strixus sets things on fire
[22:46] <shati> well, on the plus side, someone can write fic about lisa's exploits on future!okcupid
[22:47] <azurelunatic> hahahaha
[22:47] <shati> where she finds out that actually every other asshole on the internet has read her book
[22:47] <shati> and becomes the girl who owned a low-traffic blog
[22:47] <shati> anyway
[22:48] * AD writes Azz fix-it fic in which the book is just http://amzn.to/XMsj6O
[22:48] <strixus> oo oo can someone write one where its actually the anarchists cookbook?
[22:49] <shati> or the berenstein bears
[22:49] <azurelunatic> I would also accept The Art of War, or The Prince.

[22:50] <shati> it was harry potter all along
[22:50] <AD> Does it have to be a paper book?

[22:50] <shati> lisa is just a very abstract thinker
[22:50] <azurelunatic> YOU'RE A WIZARD, LISA
[22:50] <AD> Because otherwise H2g2/Wikipedia
[22:50] <strixus> Oo. Or how about The Book of the Five Rings?
[22:50] <azurelunatic> ooo.
[22:50] <azurelunatic> The teaching book from The Diamond Age
[22:50] <shati> this could totally be, like, a 12 things fic
[22:51] <shati> getting increasingly less plausible
[22:51] <strixus> ? oh man azz
[22:51] <strixus> I LOVE THAT
[22:51] <Chokolatte-1320> http://www.amazon.co.uk/Modern-Girls-Guide-Life/dp/0060734167/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1353739857&sr=1-10
[22:51] <shati> it ends with the book being gundam wing doujinshi
[22:51] <azurelunatic> the joy of sex
[22:51] <Chokolatte-1320> ^ or this book
[22:51] <strixus> lol or the joy of cooking
[22:51] <strixus> cooking
[22:51] <azurelunatic> "to serve man"
[22:52] <strixus> When I moved a few months ago, I had a box of books i labled that
[22:52] <shati> although maybe gw doujinshi is a bad idea
[22:52] <shati> lisa: *tries to repopulate the earth with human/panther babies*
[22:52] <strixus> it was all my forensic anthro, all of my cookbooks, and several books on social justice theory
[22:52] <azurelunatic> heeee
[22:52] <AD> Hee
[22:53] <shati> hah!
[22:53] <strixus> You could tell at that point I was questioning exactly why I own more books than anything else
[22:53] <hopefulnebula> ...oh, huh. that takes place in Glen Ellyn? I have an aunt who used to live there.
[22:54] <Chokolatte-1320> lol
[22:54] <strixus> I would also like to put forward either The Hobbit or Beowulf as options for the book
[22:54] <Chokolatte-1320> Now I want to cross this with John Hughes' Shermer, IL
[22:55] <AD> Lord of the Flies or Swallows and Amazons or The Secret Island

[22:55] <strixus> oo Lord of the Flies would be a good one

[22:58] <AD> or one of those business self-help books. Who Moved My Cheese or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

[22:58] <hopefulnebula> Pop-psychology books!
[22:59] <wilde_shade> what are we recommending books for?
[22:59] <Chokolatte-1320> the tao of poo!
[22:59] <Chokolatte-1320> *pooh
[22:59] <AD> Wilde, sometimes you just need to take a need a cheeze-its day.
[22:59] <AD> The book the protagonist finds in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_Who_Owned_a_City
[22:59] <azurelunatic> In "The Girl Who Owned a City", Lisa finds a book that will answer all her questions about leadership.

[23:00] <azurelunatic> It's intended to be something Randian, but in the past I also thought it could have been meant to be the Bible. Now we are airing ... alternatives. :D
[23:00] <shati> the fushigi yuugi manga
[23:01] <azurelunatic> The Paranoia game manual
[23:01] <shati> a photoshop manual!
[23:01] <wilde_shade> that A Song of Fire and Ice series?
[23:01] <azurelunatic> step 1: find a wolf.
[23:01] <Chokolatte-1320> The Lorax!
[23:02] <alexseanchai> cat in the hat
[23:02] <shati> whatever that fantasy novel was that had the evil chicken in it
[23:02] <alexseanchai> or, hey, has anyone written a people-of-color and/or not-heterocisnormative dick and jane?
[23:02] <shati> one of the terrys
[23:02] <AD> Nation would work for that.
[23:03] <wilde_shade> Google says Terry Goodkind
[23:03] <wilde_shade> go, go Google
[23:03] <shati> aw, nation would be a good book
[23:04] * shati is just making terrible suggestions
[23:04] <azurelunatic> Tiffany Aching

[23:05] <AD> Strunk and White's The Elements of Style
[23:06] <wilde_shade> somehow, I've suddenly remembered I never finished reading Biting the Sun.
[23:06] <alexseanchai> doesn't that book say never split an infinitive? that invalidates it from being a guide to life for any speaker of a language that has multiword infinitives. which is any language in which infinitive-splitting is a possibility.
[23:08] <AD> But you can't deny that using it as an apocalypse survival guide would make for a cracky GWOAS au.
[23:08] <alexseanchai> true dat


All this talk of books results in yet another cracky title that gets dropped into my NaNo to get it out of my head:

[23:12] <azurelunatic> so there's "The Dangerous Book for Boys", and "The Daring Book for Girls" --
[23:12] <azurelunatic> They were hanging out in Chad's room again, Max sprawled out on Chad's bed, and Chad kicked back in the desk chair reading "The Poorly-Behaved Book for Tiny Psychopaths".
[23:13] <alexseanchai> hee
[23:13] <Chokolatte-1955> lol